I watched a wonderful film at last year’s Sundance Film Festival, where a woman is able to “have it all” simply by cloning herself into seven different versions of herself.
It was a brilliant film and I have longingly thought about this concept many times in the past few months, wishing that I too could temporarily clone myself.
While this is a sentiment that most of us have felt at one time or another (or all the time!), mothers – especially moms of young children – seem to feel this most keenly.
I am a mom to an adorable three year old, I’m a yoga instructor and – an actress and filmmaker. I am what Marie Forleo calls “multi-passionate”.
For the past year I have been working on developing a film that I wrote and I’m very passionate about. I feel extremely fortunate to be working with a team of badass filmmakers, most of them female (this is a rarity in the film industry!).
Our director is not only female, but a mom of three! We recently did an interview with Dana Inouye of the Rewild Collective, where we had a lively discussion about how we balance motherhood with a film career.
The takeaway from this discussion was – you can have it all, just not necessarily all at once. As the brilliant Shonda Rhimes has said, “Some days I am a great mom and some days I am a great writer. Not necessarily both things on the same day”.
I adore this quote and think of it often. Let’s face it – whether or not you are a mom, you likely often feel you come up short in one direction or another. And you know what? Some days, you probably do. We all do.
My daughter is my highest priority. Her well-being will always, always come first. But some days I might read more books than others. Some days I might color with her more than others.
But as Shonda reminds us, we cannot be all things to all people, all the time. Not without cloning ourselves.
And when I look at my daughter, I think to myself that I would like to be an example for her of a woman who is a mother and is still also pursuing her passions.
If we take the time to take care of ourselves, forgive ourselves for being human and practice finding the balance in the various areas of our lives – then that is indeed my version of “having it all”.
I leave you with another quote from the brilliant Shonda (I love this woman so much):
“Part of what’s important about motherhood is that you be happy. Your kids need to see a happy, fulfilled mother. The worst thing you can do is provide your children with an unhappy, put-upon, bitter self. If I’m pursuing my goals, my kids are seeing me at my best. I am filled up, I am happy…I always remember that a happy working woman is a happy mother.”
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